


Space D*ke + Too Gay To Function = (Probably) Not Straight Club

by toooldtotrickortreat



Category: Mean Girls - Richmond/Benjamin/Fey
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, Light Angst, d-slur, i don't actually care about censoring but people get butthurt, so ill do it, which is literally part of canon but ya know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 17:43:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15466674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/toooldtotrickortreat/pseuds/toooldtotrickortreat
Summary: Janis Sarkisian says something regrettably dumb and her life falls apart for awhile. Fortunately, not all people are life-ruiners.





	Space D*ke + Too Gay To Function = (Probably) Not Straight Club

_“Janis? I can’t invite you to my pool party because I think you’re a lesbian. And I can’t have a lesbian at my party ‘cause there are gonna be girls there in their bathing suits.”_

_Janis had no idea how to respond to that. Regina was her best friend - she was supposed to be, anyway. Janis didn’t really know what Regina was talking about. All she knew was that Regina was being a bad friend and not inviting her to her 13th birthday._

_“I mean, are you a lesbian?” Regina pressed. The other girls scoffed behind their hands. “What are you?!”_

_That didn’t even make sense! How are you supposed to respond to that? All Janis really had was her dignity._

_“I…” Janis began, not really knowing what was about to come out of her mouth. “Am a space alien and I HAVE FOUR BUTTS!”_

_Wait…_

_Why did she say that?_

_What the hell did that mean?_

_Apparently, it was the wrong thing to say. Later, she went to her locker to find two words written in Sharpie across her locker._

_‘SPACE DYKE’._

_Janis didn’t know what that meant, but it couldn’t be good. Not by how everyone was whispering behind their hands and when the vice-principal came along sent her to the office to get signed out of school early._

_No one would talk to her. They just laughed and she_ knew _they were spreading rumours, but Regina was the only one who would say it to her face. By that point, she had looked it up and knew what they were saying. Lesbians were girls who got crushes on other girls and dyke was a rude word for lesbian. Fundamentally, she didn’t see what the problem with liking girls was. She liked boys, but even if she didn’t what did that matter?_

_Apparently, it mattered a lot._

_Before she knew it, things got bad. Either people (Regina) teased her and got everyone else to call her names (mostly Space Dyke, which was getting really old) or they flat out ignored her altogether. Janis started to refuse to get out of bed. She wouldn’t eat and locked herself in the bathroom so her parents couldn’t make her go to school. Finally, blessedly, they pulled her out of school. For the entire rest of the year. The deal was, she would try again next year. Eighth grade._

* * *

“Janis Sarkisian?” the teacher at the front of the classroom called out. Janis raised her hand, waiting for him to nod before letting it fall back down to hang by her side. She didn’t acknowledge the shocked stares she was receiving. She knew she looked different, and no one had even recognised her when she walked into homeroom barely five minutes ago. They all knew now, though. Gone was Regina George’s glittery pet. Here was Janis Sarkisian, her own woman now in all her 13 years of glory. Part of her knew she was over the top with the dark clothes and dyed hair, but she had a statement to make - she was a different person now.

It was a lot easier to be comfortable being alone this time around. Everyone seemed shocked at the reappearance of last year’s bullying victim, rather than what they did to make her a victim in the first place. She physically snorted as a group of girls did a double take as she strode by. She spun around, walking backwards so she could face them, and gave them a sarcastic grin and wave. _I’m back, bitches_ , she thought at them.

The newfound confidence came to a halt at lunch. Janis had yet to share a class with Regina, but now they were in the same room. Surely word had gotten to her of Janis’ return. Janis was slightly worried about what would happen but didn’t show it.

“Look who it is,” Regina’s voice sounded through the lunch room. All went silent - eighth grade meant top of the middle school food chain, so Regina was both the oldest and most popular on campus. “Our dear little space alien.” Janis vaguely imagined how confused the sixth graders must be.

“I think we both know you meant to use another word there,” Janis grinned, crossing her arms and leaning against the column behind her.

“Perhaps,” Regina shrugged, smacking her lips. Janis took a moment to take her in - pink clothes, hair noticeably lighter than last year, heels and a lackey on either side. Gretchen Weiners, who couldn’t keep a secret to save her life but still ended up knowing everyone’s business regardless, and Karen Smith, who scored for the opposite team during basketball in gym class once. They had already been part of the group when Janis still associated with Regina, but they seemed to be filling the role Janis used to hold.

“Stop staring at us like that,” Regina scoffed, tilting her head. “Didn’t we make it clear? _Dykes aren’t welcome_. I thought you’d gotten the idea after leaving for the insane asylum but apparently not.”

Janis didn’t have a retort. But this time, she knew to keep her mouth shut. Instead, she just flipped Regina off and walked out, the cafeteria erupting into sound the moment she was out the doors. She hesitated for a moment, before shaking her head and walking towards the girl's bathroom. She locked herself into the end stall for a minute to check the time - 1:00 pm, two hours still to go - and calm her erratically beating heart, then walked out to splash water on her face. She stopped dead in her tracks when she realised someone had come in, who she hadn’t heard.

Who also wasn’t a girl.

“You can’t be in here,” Janis pointed out, crossing her arms. The boy in front of her, slightly shorter and a bit wider than her - mimicked her actions.

“I’m less likely to get harassed in here than the boys’ room,” he commented. “They don’t like me very much.”

“Why would that be?” Janis found herself asking.

“Same as you,” he shrugged. “They all think I’m gay.”

Janis frowned. “Are you?”

“Oh, absolutely,” the boy responded, laughing. “You?”

“…Not sure,” she finally replied. “Not fully, at the very least.”

“Fantastic!” he cheered, clapping his hands together. “You can join the Not Straight Club then! Population me. Now you. I’m Damian.”

Janis smirked slightly. “Janis,” she said, shifting her weight onto one leg. “What does being in this club mean?”

“Not spending lunch in the bathroom, for one,” Damian began, walking out. Janis took the hint and followed him. “You also have to have absolutely no shame and utilise every friend you have. Do you have any friends?” Janis shook her head.

“Me neither,” Damian stated. “We can be friends then. Hey, wanna come over this weekend? We can ride my Grandma’s Jazzy!” Janis found herself smiling as Damian beamed at her, talking at a mile a minute without pausing to ask for Janis’ input. She didn’t mind, happy to listen to him talk.

So when Janis got home and her mother asked if school was a disaster, she could say no and mean it. When she asked if she could go to a friend’s house that weekend, her mom beamed and pulled her in for a hug. Smirking, she returned it. Maybe things would be okay now.

That didn’t mean Regina George wasn’t going to get her ass handed to her preferably in the near future.

**Author's Note:**

> i finally found the mean girls bootleg (BLESS) and this was floating around in my head so i had to. barrett wilbert weed and grey henson are my icons and after listening to the soundtrack repeatedly watching the whole thing was so good!!
> 
> also taylor louderman's vocals???? goddAMN


End file.
